Today is day three of no hot water and I'm getting stinky. I realized this morning as I was reading my bible that more than my outside body feeling the stink of no shower for 3 days... my heart was the one that seemed dirtier. I sit here amazed at how far gone my perspective on life has become. This attitude of entitlement is all-consuming, and when I don't get what I think I am due... my heart gets real stinky. It's interesting that the things that I have had all my life (showers, shelter, clothes... nice, cute, appropriately sized clothes) somehow seem mandatory and flat-out deserved. It is ugly, and He took my water to show me just how dirty my heart really is.
God has been stretching us in ways we have never known... and I'm thankful on this morning that He has pulled back another layer of my heart by taking away a simple luxury like hot water. When I was in Kenya, all the believers in our church came from the slum directly behind the church building. They all bathed out of buckets with soap and cold water outside of their 12'x12' homes made out of concrete slabs and corrugated metal walls. To this day I have never seen a clearer, more inspiring picture of hearts so in love with God and so confident in His sufficiency. So many people here came from camp-life and had to be taught how a shower works... and I bet on this morning they are not griping about being unable to bathe. They are adjusting and they are just getting on with the show. I am writing a blog about it. Oh Lord... clean my stinky, stinky heart.
Love this post Kelli. From one stinky heart to another, we need to ask God to continually open our eyes that we may see how RICHLY we are blessed as His children. I struggle with entitlement too and ugh it makes my heart stinky and UGLY. It's only when we realize we already have WAY more than we deserve (after all, we deserve Hell and instead, if we are in Him, we get God!), that we will be able to truly love others. Thanks for sharing your heart!
ReplyDeleteThat word, Entitlement... its a doozy. I know its a huge problem with kids these days.... but when you put it into this perspective of yours, wow... I can totally relate.
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