We're not in Kansas anymore

Well... I've been staying away... purposefully.  I guess the seemingly sudden transition from our exotic global village honeymoon to "what were we thinking??" reality took me by surprise and it's taken some weeks now to process and stand on some steady, reality-rooted ground.  It comes and goes... but at least it's in sight now!  Isn't God good to bring us to the end of ourselves so He can show us Himself?? 

This happened when I was in Kenya.  The strange bugs were "interested and amazing!", the awful pollution made me feel "so sad that all of these nationals have to breathe this :(", the food was a fun cultural experience and a neat bridge of trust to build with my new African friends, the mosquito nets were like real and exciting 3rd world living, the constant (and I mean constant) bouts of illness made me feel honored that God would esteem me worthy to experience what so many in the world face constantly, the cold showers reminded me of how on the edge I was living and I loved it!  Fast forward a few months and it aaaalllllllll changed.

The bugs were freakishly large and "interesting" was at the bottom of the list as far as adjectives I thought of when being affronted by these little devils - surely God accidentally spoke these into existence... he must have coughed or sneezed in the middle of creating other bugs and these were the result.  The pollution made me want to scream "Ever heard of a smog test???" during my morning prayer walks (yes, I know), the food.... oh the food... let's just say that God is faithful to answer prayers when you say, "Lord, if you don't keep this food down my throat I WILL throw it up all over their table and shame them to no end!".  The mosquitos defied my nets and had a love affair with my feet, the cold showers made me go stinky and HEY that meant I was fitting in better!, and the illnesses that drove me to be alone for hours and days at a time were very difficult to see God in (but He was there!!).  The sunshine, puppies and ice cream became gray skies, mangy Tijuana street dogs and Fear Factor food.

Life here has faded into reality also.  The excitement of everyone being so communal is actually a problem... they need to assimilate to America, learn the language and get jobs.  The different groups are each very set in their ways and mainly trust their own people, who do not know what it takes to make it in this country.  The friendships by nature of their culture are all very easy to establish, but very shallow in depth.  I can go on and on about the 47 mothers I've gained since being here and how none of them think my babies are ever dressed enough and might freeze to death if 2 more sweaters aren't heaped on them in 70 degree cloudy weather, how the kids decided knocking on the door is too much work and jumping our gate and opening the patio door to come in and play is much easier. 

What has been constant through these scenarios are two things:  Jesus and Jeff Jackson!  Jeff is our Pastor and I met him when he trained myself along with 7 other missionaries getting ready to go into the mission field.  He knows a lot about a lot, but cultural insight seems to be at the top of his gifts in my opinion.  I was prepped going into Kenya and could senses my emotions shift so I could decipher things really well... but in this situation I was shocked at how sudden and sad it was!  He brought us both back down to reality and reminded us that we aren't flung out here alone despite our feelings, our church body is still beside us, lifting us in prayer and loving on us, that all of our feelings are totally normal, that we are literally in the middle of the trenches completely submerged in a cross-cultural setting.  I suppose the biggest comfort is knowing we aren't alone, that in the midst of the seemingly unattainable goals we are probably here so God can accomplish great things inside of us... not because of us or through us. 

We truly are living in a global village, and all that separates us from the America you live in is a sidewalk.  And that sidewalk makes all the difference in our world.  More on that next time.  Please pray for us :)  I'm making dishes today and tomorrow to deliver to some of the families and begin more of this relationships via food thing.