You've heard me talk a lot about the beautiful and refreshing dynamic of this communal living in the past. The everything in common reality, the focus on relationships over task, the warmth of people who aren't mere neighbors, but friends and even family. Today is not that day. Today I'll choose from a plethora of instances that made me want to go buy a house, with a garage, hence a garage door opener, so I can go home and park in the garage and shut it immediately without anyone have a chance to barricade us! It's been one of those months!
The other day I was paying bills while the kids were in the playroom together. I was in the bedroom busying myself with things I can only do when the kids are doing their morning Independent Play time. Basically, Dani goes into the pack and play with toys, and Levi hangs in the room with toys, and they play. Alone. Daily. So in this scenario they cry. Often. Can't fit the toy through the hole? Cry. She has something I want. Cry. Immediate and urgent craving for crackers. Cry. The list goes on, but they work it out and I find it important to teach them the value of this independence. Plus I like to pay bills without a 1-yr old pressing the big blue power button on the computer.
So to make a long story short, after realizing they had been too angelic for too long, I poked my head in to find an empty room. Surveying the room and our apartment, I knew before my evaluation that (a) they had not escaped on their own and (b) they were not abducted by some bad man in dark clothes with a ski mask @ 9:00 on a Tuesday morning. I knew a refugee took them. I just knew it. Crying babies heard through an open window in our community is a wide open invitation to *help*. Knowing this didn't relieve my panic, so when I walked out of my door and saw them across the way in my neighbor's apartment with huge smiles as they sat on their couch eating bananas and watching TV in Arabic, I was pretty stern in my stance of "You cannot come in my house and take my babies".
Them: "They were crying!!!"
Me: "Yes, but you can not come into my house and take my babies" (thinking: "If whimpering is a big deal you would call the police if you saw how we do time-outs!")
Them: (picking up on my unhappy face and serious tone) "Oh, this is a problem for you?"
Me: "Yes, big problem. I am not happy. You scared me, I didn't know where my babies were!"
Them: (Clearly understanding now) "Oooohhhhh, sorry sorry sorry (insert lots of Arabic), no problem now, sorry sorry sorry..." (more Arabic and patting their hearts showing me they feel bad)... this goes on for some time
Anyway, the wife didn't know that the husband and daughter rescued my children that morning, and what did she do that afternoon? Swooped Dani (14-months) off the patio while she was playing. A little African girl was playing inside with Levi and said, "Ummm Kelli, that lady is taking Dani". TWICE in ONE DAY! This time there was no rescue, just a desire to get some grandbaby time. Like borrowing a mop and assuming I know she'll return it when done.
So, the big question... what is God showing me? To get GPS chips in my kids. Just kidding. Kind of. He is showing me a few things.
* I still have no idea what community is... No clue.
* "Neighbor" in the bible is translated "friend" in the Hebrew, and I still live like I have neighbors.... not close friends who are personally involved in my family life, and definitely not the kind of friends from other cultures who intervene in your life when you need *help*.
* Am I opening up to the community? Or just living here? Are we really truly here with our hearts? God is revealing an absence of heart within us.
* Spending time with home-sick friends so they can receive love from my babies is something that makes their hearts overflow. I need to do it more.
* Is "Independent Play" reasonable in a cross-cultural setting? What does that portray to my neighbors as I hang laundry in the other room while my babies are isolated and whining in another room? If I foster the importance of independence, am I setting them up for success in an American setting but predisposing them to a mindset (and a heart!) contrary to that of the rest of the world? Hmmmm.... heavy stuff to ponder as a mom...
* Boundaries is something they need to learn. Taking babies from homes and patios without telling the parent is something they can go to jail for in this country. They understood. And in a shame-based culture, they were very uncomfortable to see me unhappy with them.
It was a valuable lesson all the way around.
Disclaimer: For any of you who still feel uncomfortable about the baby-napping incident(s), I will keep my door locked during Independent Play... if we keep that going! :)
